Ryan’s Miracle Watch 5/14/16

A few laughs for today…

I am Transfinancial which means I am a rich person born in a poor person’s body. Help stop the hate by sending me money to resolve my financial identity disorder. The pain is real folks!

There are eleven people hanging onto a rope that’s dangling down from an airplane. Ten of them are blonde and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping. Problem solved…

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs., I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

And this last one is probably Ryan’s and Jacob’s favorite:

Teacher: What exactly is MATH?
Little Johnny: Mental Abuse To Humans

Ba duh bum…

Goodnight Everybody! I’ll be here all week!

 

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