I fell off a 50 foot ladder today. Thank the Lord I was only on the first rung…
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe! Eat cake!
Holy crap guys! I’m so lovable, the doctors gave me a special jacket so I can hug myself!
It’s called Karma, and it’s pronounced HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
FIRST GUY: I heard you burned 2000 calories today.
SECOND GUY: Yup!
FIRST GUY: Beach Body shakes or cardio?
SECOND GUY: I fell asleep with a pan of brownies in the oven.
JAMES 5:13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.