Ryan’s Miracle Watch 8/1/18

8118…whatever…

So, how ’bout some funnies for today’s post?

Not to brag or anything, but I just went into another room and remembered the reason I went in there. Granted, it was the bathroom, but still…

Alright, don’t judge!

ME: It’s not about how many times you fall down. It’s about how many times you get back up.

COP: That’s not how field sobriety tests work.

Again, don’t judge!

PRO TIP: If you stir in coconut oil into your kale, it makes it easier to scrape it into the trash.

And last, but not least:

The professor started the class by telling them, “In veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything having to do with an animal’s body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the rear-end of the cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking their finger in the rear-end of the dead cow and sucked on it…followed by assorted gagging, retching and spitting, etc.

When everyone had finished wiping their faces, the professor looked at them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. Had you been paying attention, you would have noticed I stuck my forefinger into the cows behind, but stuck my middle finger in my mouth. Now, learn to pay attention. Life is tough, but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”

I’m not sure if that last one is a joke, or a real life lesson. Oh well, I’ll unleash the hounds and let y’all be the judge…

Have a blessed rest of the day and week on purpose! We’ll be doing just that here…

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