I finally did it! I bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen. If you’re paying $3 for a bottle of Smart Water, it’s not working. For me, golf is the adult version of an Easter egg hunt. When you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead. The pain is only felt by others. The same thing happens when you’re stupid. Accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes…now I have Heinzsight. What’s the best way to cook alligator? In a croc pot. People who confuse the words “burro” and “burrow”, don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. And, last but not least…Try to remember, the greener grass across the fence may be due to a septic tank issue.